Seven Levels of Heaven

The inconvenience of your opinion is just as annoying
as the lack of empirical proof for mine.
Or it is all just unconnected; it’s all lost in time.
If you think views form from dust
you’re completely out your mind
you’ve long fallen in the dirt, brain burning in the sunshine.
But me, I’m so clouded all the time…

This dark shadow casting out from me,
permanent confusion, phased out perplexity.
Your thought on my thought, changes me indefinitely
one day a revolutionary – to be seen heroically.
To become your life, and speak as you do
new fantasies. To live life anew. Every time I wished a view,
God grants me the life of you. And then I tell life to freeze…

then I wish to be someone new, and then I’m all the Me’s.
Gothic, classical, superficial too,
bohemian, confident, counting the “I missed you”s
for each chance I didn’t take,
the unspoken sentences, the ones erased in hate.
Faces that had me on the edge, the worries that kept me awake.
God tells me how to live each moment, and watch each petal’s fate.

The drops of blood that fall from you sprinkle my fingertips
I was the backseat passenger, but in Heaven I choose the risks
I can kill myself a million times now, in search of a new birth
I can tell all the lies I can think of, that I couldn’t muster on Earth.
I can rid each thing about me, that got me here at all
I choose to sin in Heaven, God always knew I would
I choose to sin in Heaven, God always knew I would.

So I erase the past and write on a new blackboard.
Blank slates never last that long
they get covered in white dust
coked-up in rivers of lost love.
Searching for a romance of hardship
an ideal of true sublime,
finding for once a warrior, claiming for once a good life.

I can fulfil my ambitions to run a world without loving it,
I can give you my mind without your perplexing arguments.
I’m always right; God allows me to run on my logic.
This would be scary, but it’s within Heaven’s gates.
So it works out for me. Running rivers, and trees,
cartographer of my territory, omniscient of fallen leaves;
I’m called in the whisper of my world’s breeze.

The levels from each heaven I see, falling from a toppling ambition
testing each thrown flame that’s called a light in Heaven.
But fire is still fire; it burns through my heart
this isn’t Heaven; I’ve been daring in the wrong part.
I’ve been on Earth all this time, in search of a new birth.
I was faded in His Heaven’s shine; God took my life from Earth.
I’m wasted in my confusion. I always knew I was.
Choosing to waste a life-time – He always knew I would.

– 27/2/11

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